30

mom sends me a text
about tucking me in tonight
she saw my sadness

29

wind whips while we walk
trusting there's a back-way home
we know it exists

28

family, somehow,
puts pause on my pain, sometimes,
for some brief moments

27

This early, we talk
Drew drives me to the airport
I stand on the curb

26

another bed-sit
where I want to check and see
if this is all real

25

Finally speaking
Out of me, it sounds like life
But mind won't let go

24

my worst yoga yet
shines a bright light on resolve
being there is all

23

take myself to spa
try to clean out my sadness
and sweat out my tears

22

learn to slaughter birds
kill a chicken for dinner
wasn't a big deal

21

contact lens falls out
in a cafe, lopsided
found it hour later

20

weak, I suck in smoke
as I try to reach something.
but it eludes me.

19

I'm so sad that he

Offers a hug, leaves, comes back

But he still leaves me

18

sleep with tv on
wake up turn off then can't sleep
then it goes back on

17

keep smile on my face
don't let emotions seep from
sad music in ears

16

take two walks with friends
attempt to process the pain
end up in circles

15

I built a black hole,
Miles explains, that's how toy car
got to Parker's hand

14

Uprooted and mute
Go about it too mature
Shocked state propels me

13

retreat to insides
finalizing my heartbreak
(could be a repeat)

12

"These days I'm mostly
tryin' to postpone" he sings
of being alone

11

And that's how it ends
Forced a conversation and
Then it all dissolved

10

Shoulder doesn't hurt
Have hope that it's permanent
Worth the money, time

9

Trade knowledge for stuff
Lemons, batteries, and soap
And I talk coffee

8

Not a risk taker
Play it safe, or not quite safe
But don't go get it

7

Reminisce with Mac
Review decade plus friendship
For the best moments

6

Radio station
Volunteering is good, but
No KEXP

5

Look myself in eyes
Connect mind and body for
Full ninety minutes

4

Pick up my laundry
Yenni and I talk about
Our relationships

3

Skip yoga to hang
He had practice after all
Watch TV instead

2

Another day of
Snuggling our little Dijon
She's got will to live

1

Go look at the moon
In the sky, and the streetlamps
Teach him quiet, loud