31

My goal is to live.

Enough reflection to grow

but not overdone.

30

visit old Bates house

where I giggled, made mistakes

A happy summer

29

Arrive here midnight

In true form straight to Black Cat

to meet San Fran friend

28

I lose my reason

when it's money talk with mom

Don't really know why

27

board games and coffee
families at Flying M
learning robot dance

26

Sam and Dad and I
took Mom to Sockeye Brew Pub
so she could try beers.

25

Someone just like you
Walked through church and through my day
I miss you Kristin

24

After church going
We drink and chat with neighbors
Snowball fight with dad

23

back at home again
quick like hellos to old friends
in dry air, snow falls

22

on plane next to boy
discuss capturing these clouds
in jars just to see

21

neighbor moving out

talk of living in movies

our quarter of sass

20

brunch.  letter writing.

driving in glendale.  shoe shop.

scotch.  making real talk.

19

hop on bus to go

hoping that plans are still on 

for meal and music

18

clouds give way to sun

bike ride to meet on campus

drive to see the coast

17

asked a friend to go

to the sidestreets where you died

pass feelings to me

16

The plan: get off bus

Walk north, enter/exit stores,

take bus to bar/friends

15

Meander in rain

After waking early in

Gorgeous house down south

14

seeing my city

on my feet playing famous

only in LA

13

To recover from

finals, post-final parties:

Sixteen hours of sleep.  

12

At four in AM

Pictionary, white russians.

Drunk drawing, guessing

11

final paper in

done with lack of urgency

now staring blankly

10

not profound, but then

I'll look up, and people move

me to almost-tears

9

paper is sticky
mind gets caught in ideas
not in a good way

8

finals sleep schedule

twenty-two single spaced done

keeping up focus

7

how it is right now:
library, checked out laptop,
Outkast, watch off wrist.

6

Down to see cousins
Partytime, during finals
But it's all okay

5

my night in backward:
typed in "salvation" lit bar,
walked down street, coffee

4

It's PBR time

mid-day, mid-paper, mid-thoughts

Mixed with water, tea

3

outside on a curb

just so I can stand up and

go inside again

2

plugged in my tv

to watch daily show, colbert

then promptly unplugged

1

back to school, last week.

closing up quarter for real.

then more in oh nine.

30

late start from Tucson

our out-of-the-way pit stop

from Albuquerque

29

A bit salty from

cousin ditching her friend who

got kicked out of bar.

28

Now Micah and I 

take on Site Santa Fe, rocks

for the afternoon

27

Ortiz family

aunts, uncle, gramps, grams, cousins

calm, slow paced day here

26

cousin gigglefest

proving age doesn't impact 

goofiness at all

25

Profeta, haircut,

KEXP shoutout, class,

CSA box, rain! 

24

still swooning, of course

a list of to dos includes

MARCHING BAND, reading

23

she giggled sleeping

i woke up later on and

biked to YEASAYER

22

woke early to think
and so I stared into space
didn't start paper

21

peer:  no classmates here

me: yeah, Justin DJ's friends

(here, always strangers)

20

missing, not quite that,

more wanting two lives at once,

getting it all here

19

talk self out of bed.

waiting for me: bike, class, beach.

always that first step.

18

don't need a laptop

at this school, just borrow them

they're even new macs

17

looking forward to

wandering new mexico,

flying across plains

16

helped parallel

park a stranger's car outside

so she could go work

15

smoke covered my sun

taking day to red dusky 

surfers didn't mind

14

my impressions now:

fun to track down old friends here

collection of states

13

first time in the gym

late night energy, power

couldn't get to sleep 

12

Probably should say
"rejected, maybe?" so that
it's been said, out there.

11

i think i'm settled
(more like life, less like movie)
into LA life

10

There are good hearts here -
pretty, too - but late night bus
rides here are priceless.

9

Brain's full up. Can't read.
So instead, schemes of DC
trouble to be had.

8

dancing to dodos,
she places bets on who I'll
fall in love with here.

7

Indian Buffet
Friday with my two new girls
Full bellies, big smiles.

6

I'm now at the point
if the bread doesn't rise right
I toss it, start new.

5

FRIEND and ADVENTURE
it's a new game here, new place.
Reading and laughing.

4

nervous beyond words
it melted away early
with new hope and tears

3

new home out of home,
like harvard house. music, food,
slow motion dancing

2

minivan loud songs

the air cold sun sets early

foot finger tapping

1

just made a sandwich. 

hands down the greatest sandwich

I have ever had.

31

DC called, and I

answered, giggled and took on

the LA night life

30

still can't shake the fact

that it's all pretty dream-like,

near utopian

29

good dreams waking up

bike chain grease on hands post class

perfect loaf of bread

28

Mental Health Research

I'm in the study for funds

Draw pictures, take tests

27

ART talk at lacma

big colorful smooth thoughtful

Good way to spend night

26

family dinner

two and a half hours

in car; completely worth it 

25

Quiet exploring

Hours of reading in new space

with coffee and tea

24

Success! My new job:

Part time baker/caterer.

This is amazing.

23

Again, up too late

since talk made yesterday's date

bleed into today.

22

I need tortillas

Freshly made in Echo Park

For a meal I'll cook

21

class makes my head hurt

but in a good way that means

can't do much after

20

interview tonight

I smile at the thought of me

as part-time baker

19

Grown into myself

a little bit more each day.

And really happy.

18

loving canada

Labatt, Canadian Mist

at a cold fish fry

17

too early to tell.

but I'm happy to be here,

it's so different.

16

Hollywood does not

look like I imagined it

on my bike ride here

15

I said to old friend

"It's like slow motion dream world,

with no one I know."

14

went for a free couch

smelled of cats, I'm a sucker.

cat couch in my car

13

no-sleep sleep schedule

had a monster to wake up

craaaaashing is certain

12

ridiculous now

and was ridiculous then

wake with "too much!" laughs

11

way too dark to see

how strange all these people are

(not enough dancing)

10

same, like the old dreams 

that got me down, made it hard

to wake myself up

9

blah blah blah blah blah

same same same same same same same

(I'm good, just not wowed)

8

While browsing craigslist

I forgot how old I am

Counted on fingers

7

trade school for bad job

trade free new films for dancing

trade cousins for friends

6

Dear Red Bicycle,

I wish your brakes worked better,

Didn't squeak so loud.

5

top down, small white car

drive PCH, 4-oh-5

just living the dream

4

Carnival in Orange

The family wins for me

Two baby goldfish

3

post-housewarming thoughts:

studio could fit double,

table's dance-sturdy 

2

LA keeps trying

to win my heart and I think

it's starting to work

1

backpack of fresh food

afternoon of cooking up

meals for coming week

30

Molly + Grad School

= True Love (library

loans for a quarter)

29

talking while riding

going too fast down this hill

but I don't hang up

28

no deep thoughts today

as the browns won their first game,

tribe played their last one.

27

Paul Newman has died.

Talks with friends' moms about him

return to my mind. 

26

we followed these guys

as they stole mass of balloons

to pretty party

25

drive to echo park

it takes too long, but worth it

for walter meego

24

floor covered: desk, chair

walls covered: maps, posters, nails

kitchen covered: ANTS!

23

I miss what I know

but adventures get better

as I get grown up

22

gritty art, not sure

focus hard and looking deep

back onto the bus

21

up before the sun

on public transportation

for family time

20

no loneliness here

just deep sleep, long phone talks, and

big grin induced thoughts

19

and now back to this:

tipsy talking, big jokes so

that I can make friends.

18

bike ride to the beach

careful with all the traffic 

need different route

17

at nick cave, bad seeds

reflecting on the last year

I've come a long way

16

big moves always end

with me watching way too 

much Law and Order

15

more box carrying

and just like that I live here

CALIFORNIAN

14

In spring of oh six:
an Infinite Jest party.
Today: RIP.

13

first time in vegas

less like it seems in movies

more like...not my style

12

loose ends and last times

months of the same turning 'round

and goodbyes, again

11

had too much beer and

too much food, all before six.

bike ride home seems long.

10

old high school teachers.

one showed me technology

and one showed me art.

9

Had I been a boy

They'd have named me Jack Allen

Glad my name's Molly

8

my first short story

(started two plus years ago)

finally finished

7

terrified watching

satellites from the backyard

not ready to move

6

late night in Portland

five point two miles walking

and talking with Sam

5

I have missed Jessi

We giggle about the past

And feed her new hens

4

minivan dancing

- no seats, three of us in back -

to Walter Meego

3

I still feel home here

and my friends still know me here

Seattle is tops

2

surprise emotions
from a mix a boy gave me
from high school romance

1

full of northwest beers

and not so sure of choices.

it's apologies.

31

when it's Built to Spill

playing shows that don't sell out,

it must be Boise

30

it's parents and friend

hiking, kayaking, hot springs

East meets Idaho

29

in the early hours

I hear that she'll get in late

'cause she missed the flight

28

with parents, neighbors

botanical garden for

drinking wine, dancing

27

stranger says to me

"what music do you like" as

I unwrap CDs

26

finished a long book

that had been night stand sitting, 

page by page, for months

25

A still afternoon

gave way to evening winds

that cool down the air.

24

Now just me and dad.

Quiet house and sandwiches

straight from the garden.

23

Mexican wedding

mariachi where the groom

plays guitar and sings.

22

Family dinner.

I will stay at home this time

when the siblings leave.

21

Ortiz miracle

All three of us kids are in

the same place, same time

20

share a Corona

with my dad, call it a night.

it's the little things.

19

An easy day of

blasting Lion King to sing

loud and drive with Mark

18

higher altitude,

harder run, passing my old 

schools Koelsch and Fairmont

17

returned to homeland.
sky is bigger and bolder.
it's time to settle.

16

I leave DC and
these two (who kept me balanced,
made my life better).

15

too many jim beam
milkshakes, but surrounded by
friends, so it's okay

14

week of night owling
and it's casio playing
and falling off beds

13

week winding on down
but there's been no slowing down
gearing up for more

12

met him in Guate,
walked into bar in DC.
Holy SHIT! It's Neil!

11

Even if I loved
my job, I'd still take long breaks
on days such as this

10

still up near sunrise
porch sitting with a grilled cheese
watching the sky clear

9

twenty miles on bike
for market, BBQ, show,
and late night party

8

appreciating
museums and galleries and
seeing the city

7

drunk brunch plans gave way
to lunch and carrot juice plans
and then I museumed.

6

in lieu of working
we write inside joke songs while
stifling our laughter

5

quiet movie night
where we hated and then loved
the main characters

4

some days, only work
and a long run fill the day
no time for much more

3

with sunglasses on
I'm lying in the backyard
watching the sun, clouds

2

Stef and I make plans,
stay busy with adventures.
Always exciting.

1

super early work
but finally doing what
I was hired to do

31

nomadic lifestyle
means I leave as soon as I
have gotten used to

30

evening of jazz
at HR-57
a great jam session

29

beginning good-byes
seems too soon; so we dance at
concert, call it good

28

still got a soft spot
for waking up not alone,
not flying solo.

27

post stress of a theft
I needed decompression
cooked weeks worth of food

26

slamming disco dance
awoke refreshed and happy
from just four hours sleep

25

lives in sun river
jokes DC recreation
is getting Masters

24

accurate again:
"This is Molly, she smiles lots."
it's really good news.

23

when rain doesn't stop
plans are abandoned. no fear
of consequences.

22

tuesday night film night
it's a weekly ritual
that instills routine

21

way to recover
from long weekend: dance around
crazy-like at work

20

a lazy day seems
more incredible when it's
passed at harvard house

19

Book Thing! Red Emma's!
Visionary Art! Pub Crawl!
Ball Game! & Dahlak!

18

It is not long to
Baltimore, but with windows
open it seems far.

17

12 hour day at work
more than deserves some dancing
and whiskey drinking

16

face full of sly smiles
that feeling of newly charged
inside batteries

15

At work. Cannot stop
Bette Midler's Some People's Lives.
It plays on repeat.

14

Euphoric Running!
I made it nine miles, didn't
even think to stop.

13

Team Bates Barbeque
I smiled and laughed, cooked and cleaned
with my great roommates.

12

lazy saturday
breakfast at lunchtime, slow walk
to where I left bike

11

night of split second
decisions, dancing, drinking.
this renews my soul.

10

my future plans don't
include working a slow job
in an empty room

9

sometimes it's about
calling my mom to tell her
that things got harder

8

I'm getting eager
to stop being nomadic
and maybe grow roots.

7

Back to bike riding,
working and planning out runs.
About a month left.

6

Anticipated
That this trip would leave me high
But I am still sad

5

Escape to Boston
To drink a Northeastern beer
And finally walk

4

We got in at five.
(AM, that is) Slept til noon.
And explored the town

3

heart still hurts something
awful - a lasting sadness
that doesn't leave me

2

Drinking coke, beer, tea
working at kitchen table
filling up my day

1

Unproductive day.
Distracted by internets
and an achy cold.

30

Alone, I wandered
from Waterfalls to MOMA.
Full of big feelings.

29

Before the storm hit
we got to Coney Island
and saw kites flying

28

Aunt Barb and I met
in New York City again.
I love family.

27

seven and a half
hours it took bus to escape
to new york city

26

long day of working
more tired from the length than work
it's pretty useless

25

heartache from death, love
catches me in the morning
vulnerable tears

24

Tuesday Night Film Night
I finally saw Top Gun
And we drank High Life

23

got out of the house
to bike up a smallish hill
to hang at stef's house

22

quiet days follow
big loud moving excitement
I'm back on my feet

21

went for some dancing
just to move quick, flail a bit
a late night, all smiles

20

Beers with high school friend
Made plans to take a trip north
on July the Fourth.

19

I practice riding
my bike with no hands slowly -
Dupont to East Shaw.

18

he's the dancing man
the world lost, he was a good
man with a great heart

17

foot stomping dancing
as Langhorne Slim sings “Restless.”
I should be working.

16

New friend, fancy food.
We ate and drank at Central,
where my roommate cooks.

15

Wandered Artomatic.
Drank a coffee at Big Bear.
And bought a mint plant.

14

I bought some CDs.
One made me sad and I cried
and sat on the couch.

13

Friday the thirteenth
Starts with a power outage
and ends quietly.

12

I mastered riding
my bicycle in a skirt.
It's super classy.

11

Today, a quick list:
Made a meal, Ate it up quick,
Saw a show, Biked home.

10

not sure I will know
why 6th and P smells like fish
whenever I pass

9

training my body
to run just as hard in hot,
gross, humid weather

8

friend got on a train
headed slow to seattle
four days of country

7

first humid hot day
takoma park barbecue
i'll get used to it

6

drank my weight in beer
tried to ride bike handlebars
paid for it today

5

Today was about
shoes still soaked from rain last night.
I couldn't focus.

4

my office got dark
and the thunderstorm started
torrential downpours